Monday, January 30, 2012

What do I say?


It's been more than a year and a half since I last posted, and frankly, I don't know what i want to write now, either. So many blogs go silent after frenetic posting for some time. I sometimes wonder why. Is it because we run out of things to say? Or is it that we cannot sometimes share what we really want to say? Or do we lose that drive within us that pushes us to write, to share, to let the world know?

I don't know. All I know is that the last two years were very stressful and packed with so much to do, that I just lost the interest to write and maintain the blog. Besides, what is there for me to say? I don't have any defined topics, I am not writing on any particular subject, just random thoughts and experiences, and they sometimes dry up.

Sometimes, when you are focused on something, you exclude everything else. That is what happened to me. I was so focused on helping my daughter through school, and into college, that everything else came second. Now that she has cleared another peak (her XII Boards), and is doing extremely well in first year in college,and no longer needs me the way she did earlier, I am suddenly faced with the question - what do I do now?

For the past so many months I have been contemplating this question. I realize that sometimes the dreams you had for yourself as a young person, no longer appeal to you. I am in a kind of limbo, not inclined to accept the things that come my way and yet unsure of what I should do. Maybe I have to go through the limbo, maybe I just have to wait for the answer to come...