Quite often these days, I think I am preparing for the X Board Exams! I'm sure a lot of parents might feel the same way, given the kind of pressure our children go through before they clear their school boards. Sad, for it need not be like that.
Tuitions, extra classes, projects, frequent tests notwithstanding, the stress starts for my daughter and her friends at assembly every day when the Principal starts the countdown - "How many more days for the Board exams?" and states the precise number of days left. Can you imagine what it must be like for the students of Class X? And how this stress will only build up through the day? My daughter has chewed off all the nails on her fingers, and her friends are in varying stages of exam-related stress.
When I was doing my X and XI (I was one of the last to do XI before the 10+2 system came into force), there was some pressure on me because I was so bad at Math. I was probably one of the few students in my class who went for tuition. I never told anyone in class that I was! Although we were often told that it was a crucial year, I don't think any of us faced the kind of pressure that children face today. The competition is intense, and if one desires to get into the college or course of one's choice, one has to go through this torture. Is it really worth it? Why do we push our children to the brink, and for what? To get a seat in some engineering or medical college?
For years, we have all been talking about reforms in education, including examinations, but very little has actually been done. We continue to have exams which only test a student's memory (all those lessons crammed at the last moment!) rather than his understanding of the subject. I think it is high time we brought in a whiff of fresh air into this stifling situation.I think it is also imperative because the old ways no longer work,especially for children with so-called "difficulties". Considering that around 10% of our school-going children are said to have some form of learning disability, isn't it time that we took such a step?
For those of us who continue to function within the system, and with a special-needs child(my daughter is dyslexic), it is frustrating to say the least. Even when we manage to get concessions and exemptions from the Board, they set crazy conditions which are almost impossible to fulfill. My daughter has been allowed to have a scribe to write her exams, but....it has to be a child who is younger to her. Now, which self-respecting middle-class Indian parent is going to let his or her child miss class and possibly an exam, to write for my daughter? For months now, we have been running round in circles, and only one child has offered to do so for 2 or 3 papers. Now we have to find another one.No wonder I am so stressed out these days!!
7 comments:
Children in this day and age are overstressed, especially children from the Eastern part of the world. There is doom and gloom if one is not an engineer or a doctor, it seems.
For children with disabilities, yes, it is very frustrating. My wife is an expert in Autism and it affects both the children and slowly creeps into the life of parents due to the stress of society and their frustration with their situation.
For my son who is a perfectly normal 15 year old boy, my only advice has been to tell him that it is up to HIM to be happy and make do with your life as HE chooses to do so. I refuse to put any additional stress in his life or mine. In a certain way, in the modern world parents have to learn to keep a distance from worrying about the future and their children. Being divorced from my son's mother and him living far away from me, it has been easier for me to do so. Painful at first, but then life and time make you heal slowly but surely. It will all come to pass.
Very true, Ravi. As Raji must know, at some point it does affect even the most optimistic parent,often due to the pressures from the outside world. But as you say, it will all come to pass.I know one day I will look back on this stage and know that I have experienced great growth and learning. But for now, I have to just keep my head above water.
In the so called developed countries what is especially an issue is the amount of medication children with ADD and AUTISM are put on.
A good portion of the kids outgrow these issues, however the support/solutions provided to parents and the kids still lack in so many areas.
Kids if allowed will reach their own level but we seem not to understand that. Parents also need to know that in a world where there are so many more opportunities now, we have to let children find on their own what makes them happy, satisfied and productive members of society. That it is important for the child to be happy before you can also glow in the sense of their happiness.
You are right, Ravi.If parents could remain patient, everything will work out in the end.Thanks for the comments.
Meena. What you've highlighted is very relavant now. This system is really crazy and it only drives normal people crazy. I see this around me, when my sister yells at her kids for scoring ordinary marks in exams(that is, if your score is below that of someone else). Another sister of mine has sent her daughter to tuitions, which means, no summer vacations this year and very little time for play or entertainment. We're living in a competetive society and as long as we're running this mad race, we'll continue to inflict harm on our children.
I think, the parents have to take the initiative of not creating much pressure on the child, by way of expectations. Maybe we need a culture where it's ok to come second, it's okay not to score great marks, and it's perfectly fine if you're mediocre in studies. The education gained in school/college is just a tiny part of your overall learning, for it is life that teaches you more than anything else. But do the parents today have this attitude?
Although I enjoyed my Class 10 studies and scored well, I went through hell in college(literally). It's a lifelong lesson for me and I shall never inflict such pressure and expectation on my son.
Thank you,Vishwa. You are right.What does it matter if you are second, or third, or even last but one? As you said, it is life that teaches you. I think we also need to remember that all those successful people out there were not necessarily toppers in school or college.
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